“Not Headquarters Material” (song)
What happens when a PCG church member wants to move closer to headquarters—and is told she does not fit the image?
A few years ago, I met a woman at a church festival who lived in Seattle, Washington. She told me she was close friends with Steven Flurry’s wife and wanted to move to the Philadelphia Church of God headquarters in Edmond, Oklahoma. Her employer was willing to let her transfer to its Edmond location, so she had a practical way to make the move.
According to her account, her local minister approved but said she would also need permission from the headquarters minister, Wayne Turgen.
She told me his response was that she “did not fit the image they were trying to project.”
She said she broke down crying. She was a heavy woman and believed the rejection was because of her weight. I cannot say whether that was his reason, but that was how she understood the remark—and it hurt her deeply.
Another woman, Jennifer Ladd of the Cincinnati congregation, also wanted to move to headquarters. She was a Montessori schoolteacher and administrator and believed her experience could be useful at the school on the PCG compound.
Jennifer told me she asked Regional Director Cal Culpepper for permission to move. According to her, he told her she was “not headquarters material.”
What does that mean? What makes someone “headquarters material”? Shouldn’t a religious community value a person’s character, kindness, faith, and willingness to serve?
These are two accounts shared with me personally by the women involved. I did not witness their conversations with the ministers, but I heard how they described the rejection.
To me, these accounts raise a serious question about priorities. When members are told they do not fit an “image” or are not the right “material,” where is the concern for the people behind those labels?
James 2:1–4 warns against favoritism in the assembly. First Samuel 16:7 reminds us that people look at outward appearance, while Yahweh looks at the heart.
A “church” should take those lessons seriously. Members are human beings with feelings, abilities, and a desire to belong. They deserve to be treated with dignity—not left wondering what about them makes them unacceptable.
[Verse 1]
A lady out in Seattle
Had a job transfer arranged.
She hoped to move to Edmond—
Just her address would be changed!
She said they told her, “Sorry,
You don’t fit our grand design.”
Was she joining an assembly,
Or applying for a billboard sign?
[Chorus]
Not headquarters material!
Well, what’s that supposed to mean?
Do you need a glossy finish
And a polished limousine?
Yahweh looks upon the heart—
That’s the part they ought to see!
But apparently at headquarters,
There’s a dress code for your pedigree!
[Verse 2]
Jennifer taught the children,
Had experience to spare.
Thought, “Perhaps their school could use me;
I’ve got skills that I could share.”
She said the answer given
Was, “You’re not the material.”
Did they need a school administrator,
Or imported fine upholstery?
[Chorus]
Not headquarters material!
Is it velvet? Is it oak?
Is there some exclusive fabric
For the headquarters folk?
Kindness, faith, and willingness—
Those should get you through!
But if your heart’s the application,
Who reviews it there for you?
[Bridge]
James said, “Don’t show favoritism.”
That should settle who belongs.
Maybe put away the clipboard
And let kindness sing along!
No showroom full of saints,
No spiritual fashion show—
If Yahweh sees a willing heart,
Why tell that heart to go?
[Final Chorus]
Not headquarters material!
Well, I’m flesh and blood, you see!
I’m not a fancy countertop—
Don’t take a sample out of me!
You can keep your perfect image;
Let compassion have the floor.
An assembly ought to welcome hearts,
Not leave them crying at the door!
[Spoken Outro]
“Not headquarters material?”
Well… would you accept plywood?
It’s humble, useful…
and it doesn’t need permission to move!
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