What happened when a couple Philadelphia Church of God ministers came to my house. (song)
[Verse 1]
Two ministers came calling,
Pulled up a couple chairs.
Said, “We need a contact person,
But you haven’t been upstairs.”
I said, “I missed some services,
Been sick and feeling rough.”
I thought that might explain it—
But things got mighty tough!
[Verse 2]
The younger fellow leaned toward me,
And then, to my surprise,
All I saw were two big whites
Where he normally kept his eyes!
I sat there staring back at him,
My thoughts began to race:
“Is this a church appointment,
Or an audition taking place?”
[Chorus]
That minister freaked me out!
What was that all about?
I came to talk attendance,
Now I’m checking my way out!
I’d seen that look in movies,
With the scary music loud—
But sitting in my living room?
That minister freaked me out!
[Verse 3]
He did it twice—I’m telling you,
Once would’ve been enough!
I’d already said that I was sick;
This wasn’t helping much!
They wanted me for contact man,
To answer every call—
But after that strange interview,
I might not answer at all!
[Bridge]
I told the older minister
What I had seen that day.
He called it “demon possession”—
Well, what was I to say?
Then someone said, “He did that here!”
I nearly dropped my cup:
“Well, if that’s how he visits folks,
Give warning coming up!”
[Final Chorus]
That minister freaked me out!
What was that all about?
I came to talk attendance,
Now I’m checking my way out!
Next time you need a contact man,
Just mail the forms on out!
Two visits from those eyeballs—
That minister freaked me out!
[Spoken Outro]
“I missed church because I was sick.
That visit sure didn’t cure me!”
[End]
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